My game plan is to use the rowing machine and the elliptical at the gym as well as the life circuit machines, do light running sometimes and hunker down at home on the awesome stationary bike while I watch bad movies that I have been meaning to suffer through for some time but just haven't gotten around to it because I have a life. Or did, now I have to flail along in my home on a stationary bike! OK that's not so bad but my soul aches for my soles to hit the streets. But enough about irrational addicted-runner angst. And back to my rehab project.
Today's Shoe Du Jour: the K-Swiss Canadian classic. I had a pair of these and they rocked! I am Canadian so, I rocked! They wore out due to my rocking. I bought a new pair. They.. suck to run in but for this.. they are perfect.
OK that covers the bases, let's get to the bad movies.
Oh wait, first of all.. do not read these reviews unless you have either (a) seen the movies or (b) don't care if you read spoilers. Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert. Kirk to bridge, Spock! Tell Bones we have a spoiler alert in bay 5.. tell everyone at the Satellite of Love that this is not a drill! Set your Blu-Ray on stun!
Here we go.
HANGOVER III
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| "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!" - Walter Sobchak, from a happier time in a much much MUCH MUCH better movie |
Yes, I saw The Hangover and I laughed myself sillier. Then I saw Hangover II and, I remember laughing but couldn't tell you a thing about it. There was a monkey in there somewhere?
Which brings us to Hangover III. It definitely has everything a third chapter of a franchise that should have just been a single movie could offer: Shameless callbacks to earlier events. Deliberately over the top nonsense that is so over the top that this movies should have been called HangOVERTHETOP III. Blatant scenery nibbling by the cast. Lots of chaos, little writing, great camera work, fabulous outfits and crisp audio. Threadbare plot and humor that is too forced. And a 34 minute plot carefully compacted into a 100 minute movie.
I must admit the premise is good. Why would these guys all get together again? It's logically set up. The giraffe decapitation was.. beyond funny. I was lovin it....then unfortunately I was subjected to a lot of over the top nonsense which has one redeeming factor: apparently Walter (as chewed on by John Goodman), on leave from the set of the Big Lebowski, is part-timing it as a crime lord over in this movie. He needs our heroes to help him. Don't worry about the logistics of it, how things unfold makes less sense than anything Walter ever told Lebowski. Shabbas or no shabbas heads roll. Sadly, no toe in a towel, that would have been a great little Easter egg!
Finally after it felt like I biked 400,000 miles, I arrived at the ending... which has a nice nod to the first 2 Hangover movies. It of course is embedded in the credits.
I have to cut this movie some slack, the only thing I have against it is the fact that it exists.. and that 98% of the movie is total garbage. But, if you can watch the first 10 mins and then eject the DVD and snap it in two aggressively with a pair of angry pliers, go for it. I left my copy at a Halloween party under a beer bottle. And I feel pretty good about this.
For my first 100 minutes on a stationary bike, this movie didn't make my ass hurt as much as I thought it might. No thanks to Walter.
I give this movie a whopping *** out of 10. If you had to make a part III, I guess this is what you should do but I would lean HEAVILY on.."Hangover needed no sequels." The dudes should have abided.
